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10 Things You Can Do To Contribute To Internal, Interpersonal, & Organizational Peace

By Gary Baran & CNVC

(1) Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how you would like to relate to yourself and others.
(2) Remember that all human beings have the same needs.
(3) Check your intention to see if you are as interested in others getting their needs met as your own.
(4) When asking someone to do something, check first to see if you are making a request or a demand.
(5) Instead of saying what you DON’T want someone to do, say what you DO want the person to do.
(6) Instead of saying what you want someone to BE, say what action you’d like the person to take that you hope will help the person be that way.
(7) Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.
(8) Instead of saying "No", say what need of yours prevents you from saying "Yes".
(9) If you are feeling upset, think about what need of yours is not being met, and what you could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or yourself.
(10)  Instead of praising someone who did something you like, express your gratitude by telling the person what need of yours that action met.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication
sm (Visit CNVC to learn a lot more about what Marshall Rosenberg PhD is doing to help each one of us and everyone on our planet) would like there to be a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communicationsm so that all people will get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully(And so would I.. what a beautiful world it would become if we all practiced Nonviolent Communication in our everyday lives.  Let us all start that critical mass on its way to a more beautiful world. Donna)

© 2001 Gary Baran & CNVC

Note from Donna:  Let me know if you would like to have these ten things expanded into an in-depth article, and I will endeavor to get that accomplished as soon as humanly possible. 

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Visit CNVC today and see the helpful books and manuals available for self-teaching, or get enrolled in the nationwide seminars and learn how to teach Nonviolent Communication in your community, your schools, and your home.  It really is an eye-opening concept that could make everyone's life a LOT better!

Here is an excerpt from Chapter One of

"Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall Rosenberg PhD:

NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions. It contains nothing new; all that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries. The intent is to remind us about what we already know—about how we humans were meant to relate to one another—and to assist us in living in a way that concretely manifests this knowledge.

NVC guides us in reframing how we express ourselves and hear others. Instead of being habitual, automatic reactions, our words become conscious responses based firmly on an awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting. We are led to express ourselves with honesty and clarity, while simultaneously paying others a respectful and empathic attention. In any exchange, we come to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. NVC trains us to observe carefully, and to be able to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us. We learn to identify and clearly articulate what we are concretely wanting in a given situation. The form is simple, yet powerfully transformative.

We perceive relationships in a new light when we use NVC to hear our own deeper needs and those of others.

As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing, or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism, we come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized. When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion. Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC fosters respect, attentiveness, and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart.

Although I refer to it as “a process of communication” or a “language of compassion,” NVC is more than a process or a language. On a deeper level, it is an ongoing reminder to keep our attention focused on a place where we are more likely to get what we are seeking.    Read More

I am going to order it for myself, as it appears to have the answers I've been seeking most of my life.  I hope you'll take a look, too.  (NO, he doesn't have an affiliate program - I just really admire the work he's doing.  :-)    Peace & Prosperity, Donna
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